Nkem Ndem: The wahala of dating outside your social class

Men seem more than likely to marry lower class women. One of my DH’s best friends recently married a gorgeous but lower class girl. She’s model-beautiful and very sweet and adores her husband but his extended family can’t help but laugh and mock her LC family. We were a their apartment for a party the other day and we were talking about how cute their place was. One of my DH’s friends afterwards made a comment about how it was so trashy that she had blown up and put up lots of pinterest-y quotes all over the place and hwo tacky that was. I wonder how hard it is for people in cross-class marriages. I wonder how she feels around her husbands friends and family. People can be cruel.

Victorian era courtship rules and marriage facts

I stood out compared to most of the guys there in there really nice suit.. My best suit was not even close to some of the hand made tailored suit’s some of the guys where wearing along with the cost of some of the jewelry that some of the lady’s wearing at the wedding.. She told one person this statement in many areas of our relationship.. She was telling me this on the way home to the city in the car we had rented for the night to up the place where the wedding was takeing place then drive back down in the morning..

I maker her feel good about her age and her looks.. I open her door and i help with her coat..

For women from working-class backgrounds, middle-class spouses’ models for navigating professional environments may not trump the “mommy tax,” glass ceilings, or the other social processes.

How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game , which essentially argues that today’s dating market is suffering from a so-called ” man shortage. While there are 5. The book raises some interesting questions about what we look for in a mate, as well as some alternative solutions for the marriage-minded among us. But Birger also suggests that this “man shortage” might result in a surprising trend: At face value, the suggestion that women date outside their class seems hopelessly old-fashioned, not to mention politically incorrect.

After all, we’re living in the 21st century, not in the highly stratified social world of Downton Abbey. However, the uncomfortable truth is we do gravitate to partners who have the most in common with us, which means we tend to date within our social classes and education levels. So what happens when modern singles venture outside their socioeconomic pools and engage in what Birger calls “mixed-collar dating“?

A relatively rare attraction:

Agony of dating, marrying outside your social class

Originally Posted by miu Guys are much more comfortable with dating a woman that is beneath them in socio-economic status. But all they are looking for is someone to have their children with. And if she will be a stay at home mom, then it doesn’t much matter if she only graduated from college. However, the greater the money gap, the more beautiful and hot looking she would need to be.

Dec 22,  · Anonymous wrote:Men seem more than likely to marry lower class of my DH’s best friends recently married a gorgeous but lower class girl. She’s model-beautiful and very sweet and adores her husband but his extended family can’t help but laugh and mock her LC family. We were a their apartment for a party the other day and we were talking about how cute their place was.

In general, the people of India tend to marry within their community whether that community exists within India or those of Indian decent living in other countries. Arranged Marriages While arranged marriages are still common in India, love marriages have gained in popularity. However, dating in India is for the purpose of “getting to know” your future husband.

One of the reasons the notion of dating is still foreign to the Indian people, is because it implies mental and quite possible physical contact with many people of the opposite sex. Many Indian parents and Indian society don’t believe in a “trial and error” approach to love. Dating Outside of India This is not to say that Indian men don’t date.

Indian men are more likely to date outside of India than those living in India.

The Truth About “Mixed-Collar” Dating — From the People Who Make These Relationships Work

About how you post it: Post titles must be a descriptive, in depth question and searchable using keywords, or will be removed. No graceless posts or comments generalizing gender.

I was giving my opinion on dating outside one’s social class, as per your request. I wasn’t commenting on you since I know nothing about you – I don’t know where you live, I don’t know where he lives [because you didn’t say], so I couldn’t possibly comment on things like material possessions.

Fast forward to , the Internet rules; anyone can meet anyone, and nobody kicks up a fuss about cross-class relationships or marriages anymore. It is not considered overtly scandalous. We no longer factor it in when considering the root of our relationship problems, and we look to psychology or gender norms instead when trying to figure out why our partner is being an ass. We pretend that we live in a classless society where background does not matter as much as present compatibility.

Believe it or not though, social class or shall we say socio-economic differences, still pose a very difficult challenge in relationships today. Anyone who has dated someone outside their social class can affirm that there are strange tensions and inevitable speed bumps that come with these kinds of relationships. It can be fraught with complications. For instance, your boyfriend could be from a high-class, wealthy family while you come from a working-class family with less money. He travels a lot and has been to all these places around the world just for fun, while you have never crossed the borders of Nigeria.

You start to think you cannot keep up with him because you must be extremely careful with money.

Should You Date Outside Your Class?

On her screen, images of men appeared and then disappeared to the left and right, depending on the direction in which she wiped. I felt a deep sense a rejection — not personally, but on behalf of everyone at the bar. I wondered to myself, is this what online dating has done to us? Of course, others have worried about these sorts of questions before.

For gay couples, it’s more like two out of every three. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Nkem Ndem We grew up watching classics like Cinderella, Coming to America, Pretty Woman, Nollywood’s Violated and a couple of other movies where love conquered the social class divide. Fast forward to , the Internet rules; anyone can meet anyone, and nobody kicks up a fuss about cross-class relationships or marriages anymore. It is not [ ].

Fast forward to , the Internet rules; anyone can meet anyone, and nobody kicks up a fuss about cross-class relationships or marriages anymore. It is not considered overtly scandalous. We no longer factor it in when considering the root of our relationship problems, and we look to psychology or gender norms instead when trying to figure out why our partner is being an ass. We pretend that we live in a classless society where background does not matter as much as present compatibility.

Believe it or not though, social class or shall we say socio-economic differences, still pose a very difficult challenge in relationships today. Anyone who has dated someone outside their social class can affirm that there are strange tensions and inevitable speed bumps that come with these kinds of relationships. It can be fraught with complications.

For instance, your boyfriend could be from a high-class, wealthy family while you come from a working-class family with less money. He travels a lot and has been to all these places around the world just for fun, while you have never crossed the borders of Nigeria.

Nkem Says: The Wahala of Dating Outside Your Social Class

He is from a wealthy family and you come from the other side of the tracks. Although it was unlikely the two of you would end up dating, sparks flew and the rest is history. The whirlwind romance has been fun, but it hasn’t been without roadblocks.

Jun 13,  · While class differences do exist, it’s safe to say you’re setting yourself up for an uninteresting world if you let them define your personal life. I .

This article is over 6 years old In the s, more women aspired to marry their bosses. A shift in marriage patterns over the past 40 years has seen an end to the fairytale rags-to-riches route to love and a rise in modern women choosing men of the same or lower social class. The move has implications for social mobility and inequality, says the thinktank IPPR, which has produced a report looking at women born in different generations since the s, when some male executives infamously used the typing pool as a dating agency.

In the postwar period of rising social mobility, women increasingly married men who were both older and of a higher social class than themselves. But analysis of patterns among women born in , and between and shows a decline in the proportion “marrying up” combined with a small increase in “marrying down”. The biggest increase has been among those marrying within their own social class. The biggest growth has been among husbands seven or more years older, which has almost doubled across the generations to a fifth of the married women born between For those born in , the picture changed.

To academics, picking a partner similar to yourself is known as “assortative mating”.

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